Wherever people work together, conflicts inevitably arise. Small differences of opinion can usually be resolved quickly and can even be good for making the team grow. But major disagreements or subliminal conflicts poison the working atmosphere. It is therefore important to prevent them or at least to recognize them at an early stage in order to face them. Whenever a colleague or even your boss gets on your nerves, you should check whether it is such a conflict – or whether you are perhaps just having a bad day and overreacting. It is therefore important to first touch your own nose. Because arguing always takes two, as the saying goes.
Pay attention to subliminal conflicts
For you, this saying means: if you keep silent, an outrageous comment or small misconduct on the part of your counterpart does not immediately turn into a solid argument. Because not everything that strikes you as uncomfortable is worth addressing. Instead, see if the misbehavior reoccurs and a pattern can be seen. For example, it can indicate a subliminal conflict in the form of “prickly” comments that needs to be resolved. Otherwise it could well grow into a bigger problem. In short: develop a feeling for when you should address something to your colleagues or the boss – and when not (yet).
Is silence really gold?
To stick with the well-known proverbs, they say: speech is silver, silence is gold! As you already know, this motto actually applies in many cases when it comes to annoying colleagues. But since your health is now at stake in some situations, this can no longer be said in principle. In addition, as already mentioned, there may also be good reasons for other conflicts to openly address them. Nevertheless, you certainly do not want to become the “police” in the company and constantly point out your misconduct to your colleagues or the boss. Because that makes you quickly the annoying colleague yourself. So what can you do?
Tips for the “correct” correction
For many people, the solution to the current situation is: humor. So they come up with creative and funny ways to inform their colleagues. So the rebuke seems less like a raised index finger and more like a funny reminder. Humor is also an optimal solution for many other conflicts in the job, for example to address subliminal taunts without letting them escalate. However, you need a certain instinct in order not to ridicule the situation too much and to mime the clown, but still get your message across clearly. Sounds complicated? After all, nobody has said that interpersonal relationships are easy, not even at work. If, on the other hand, the humor doesn’t work or this approach simply doesn’t suit you, you can also try the following strategies:
- Stay cool and make an appointment for a one-on-one conversation with the person concerned. At best, you can find out the problem in a factual and sustainable manner and get it out of the way.
- Don’t let yourself be provoked and instead stay true to yourself. Do as you see fit and lead by example. At best, your difficult colleagues will follow you.
- Give clear instructions if the colleague or boss exceeds your limits. Stay professional, but confident and determined. “Let’s not slide down to a personal level at this point” or “Let’s all take a step back to keep our distance” are just two of many possible examples.
- Speak in “I-messages” when you want to address a problem or get it out of the way.
- A real no-go is blasphemy behind the back of the person concerned. Instead, ask yourself whether criticism is necessary and if so, practice it personally and constructively.
In some cases it also makes sense to consult the boss about the problem. After all, he is the leader and therefore also the mediator for certain conflicts. So if a colleague is lazy, choleric, curious or behaves incorrectly in another way – this can be a case for the manager. That doesn’t mean that you are a “snitch”, but of course you shouldn’t go to the boss about every little thing. Here, too, it is important to develop a sure instinct. And sometimes it’s just distance that helps.
